From the Patricelli lab in Evolution and Ecology:
Jessica is working on her second album and a new fragrance. She is also in negotiations to develop a new reality show about grad students called “The Scholarly Life”, in which she will show her intellectual side by wearing reading glasses. Her research addresses the signaling value of bright sweaters on small dogs, and is funded by proceeds from her new line of handbags.
(Picture caption: The pom poms (“pseudo-poodles”) on Jessica’s Uggs act as lures to attract the ankle-biting dogs, who are angered by them. This innovative technique is one of Jessica’s many contributions to the methods of field ecology.)